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Thom Rainer is the former president and CEO of Lifeway Christian Resources and the author of numerous books. He has served in multiple capacities and spoken to hundreds. He led a church and denominational firm from 1990 - 2005, and that firm provided insights to over 500 churches. I discovered his list of 14 Traits in Toxic Leaders. This is an excellent resource for those who are trying to discern if you are working for or being led by a toxic leader. After this blog, you will find a PDF of those 14 Traits and a link to a podcast where he discusses those traits. Below is the list and a few of my notes from listening to the podcast. However, this podcast is a MUST-HEAR FOR YOURSELF! Thom Rainer describes the fourteen traits of a toxic leader: They rarely demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit (See Galatians 5:22-23) They seek a minimalist structure of accountability; they feel they answer to no one and do their best to have minimal accountability; they lead in an autocratic (top-down) fashion. They are micromanagers; they want their hands in every situation. They expect behavior from others they don't expect of themselves. They have "Do as I say, not as I do" as their motto. They see almost everyone else as inferior to themselves. They criticize other leaders while building themselves up. They show favoritism. They give a few people preferential treatment while they marginalize the rest. They give info to some, and others don't get information. They say one thing to some people but different things to others. They will say whatever it takes, including lying, to get what they want. They seek to dismiss or marginalize people before they attempt to develop them. People are a means to an end: they quickly reject people if they don't serve the leader's purpose. They see people as projects to accomplish their own goals. They are manipulative. They masterfully pull people's strings to get them to do what they want. Their most common tactic is to use partial truth. They lack transparency. Everything is kept a secret, so they can't be held accountable. They have frequent anger outbursts. This happens when they don't get their way. They do not allow for pushback or disagreement. Those who dare to disagree become victims of the leader's anger and are quickly pushed aside. They surround themselves with sycophants; people who are people pleasers, those who are a part of their inner circle, which may include close friends and family, and they have a host of "yes" people or weaker leaders who will do whatever they ask. They communicate poorly. Some are good communicators in a public forum or the pulpit but communicate poorly to those who work for them because the clearer they communicate, the more they reveal who they are because it reveals their autocratic leadership style. They are self-absorbed. They would listen to all these traits but not see them themselves. They are so self-absorbed they don't see themselves, so no correction is done. If you find yourself working for a toxic leader or the leader of your church, then confronting them will not do any good. If no one can confront them, leaving is the best course of action if you work for them. If you see yourself as a toxic leader based on these traits, the first step is repentance to God and many people that you have led poorly and offended. Sometimes you need to do that in a public setting. Click Here To Listen to 14 Traits Found in Toxic Leaders Podcast by Pastors Today. Don't forget to check out the Resources page Also, check out The Soul Salon, which will be reopening in September.

Church culture is based on the behaviors and beliefs of that congregation. A congregation creates a culture based on how it responds to certain beliefs and behaviors. And then it can become known for those beliefs and behaviors of people who do not attend that church or those who do. The leaders in a church drive the culture because their responsibility is to guide a church in being a reflection of what the congregation believes and practices. You may say, "Well, I'm not a leader, so I am not responsible for the culture." Unfortunately, this isn't true because every person who participates in a congregation either perpetuates a particular culture thru their actions or inactions." It's what happened during the civil rights movement; black and white people said, we will not tolerate this culture of discrimination, so people like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., John Lewis, Rosa Parks, and others decided to act on what they believed in challenging the discriminatory culture. Action can perpetuate and challenge culture and inaction also perpetuates culture as well. It's what Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, "The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people but the silence over that by the good people." Edmund Burke said, "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." More and more people are sharing stories about their experiences in toxic church environments. It is heartbreaking. If you listen to the reports, you would think only a few people are creating the toxicity, but it's not just those people; it's the church's culture. I was told that in one church, at least thirteen people have had similar experiences as I have had or worse. Thirteen people? How did it move beyond two? Culture. The people in the congregation are perpetuating and affirming certain types of behaviors thru the way they respond to them. More than likely, those in power prioritized protecting the institution rather than the people. This is a very common response in churches that have a toxic culture. Wade Mullen explains how this happens when a person challenges the toxic culture. He says, "An organization or culture that perpetuates abuse will question the motives of those who ask questions, make the discussion of problems the problem, condemn those who condemn, silence those who break silence, and descend upon those who dissent." This is how a toxic culture is perpetuated and affirmed. Once this happens, the culture becomes a culture of control, weariness, fear, secrecy, silence, and indifference. And in the words of one of my leadership mentors, "Culture wins every time." Culture can be so irresistible, whether good or bad. Just think that in one congregation where thirteen people have experienced toxicity, culture is winning 13 - 0. However, there is hope! There are four ways to overcome a toxic culture and nurture a safe church culture. Tell the Truth- speak up when you believe something is wrong. Be respectful. The freedom to disagree or share what you believe is right, based on scripture, nurtures a safe church culture. There may be times when you agree to disagree, but every voice should matter. Seek the Truth- Ask questions. Don't let someone tell you who you can't talk with while trying to discover the Truth of a situation. Know the Truth- You must know God's Word. Do the attitudes, actions, policies, procedures, etc., align with scripture? The corporate structure should not be the authority on how the church conducts its business as long as what is done does not break the law. The Bible should be the final authority on policy and procedures. If you don't know God's Word, you can fall prey to deception and get sucked into using the corporate model as your guide. This is bringing the world into the church. One tip is that if attitudes, actions, policies, procedures, etc., are not filtered thru the lens of love, they do not align with scripture. John 8:32 says, "And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." Truth breaks the chains of a toxic culture. No one who practices deception can survive in culture where Truth is a priority. Another way a safe church culture can be nurtured is thru repentance. Repentance means a change of heart and a change of direction. It's Godly sorrow. When a congregation discovers that it has participated in affirming toxic behavior and a toxic culture, there must be individual and corporate repentance. Repentance breaks the chains of toxicity. As Christians, we are called to create communities of love and safety. Making Truth the priority and practicing repentance as individuals and as a corporate body are two of the most loving ways to nurture a culture that is safeguarded against toxicity. A person who affirms toxicity in a church cannot survive in a culture that practices repentance. Don't lose hope. You can nurture a safe church culture because scripture says, "...that with God, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26) because nothing is impossible with God Luke 1:37. Do NOT forget to check out our RESOURCES. Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash Photo by Rob Martin on Unsplash

Ezekiel 34 is my go-to passage of scripture when I think about spiritual leadership. I like the Message Version verses 1-6, God's Message came to me: "Son of man prophesy against the shepherd-leaders of Israel. Yes, prophesy! Tell those shepherds, "God, the Master, says: Doom to you shepherds of Israel, feeding your own mouths! Aren't shepherds supposed to feed sheep? You drink the milk, you make clothes from the wool, you roast the lambs, but you don't feed the sheep. You don't build up the weak ones, don't heal the sick, don't doctor the injured, don't go after the strays, don't look for the lost. You bully and badger them. And now they're scattered every which way because there was no shepherd- scattered and easy pickings for wolves and coyotes. Scattered-my sheep!- exposed and vulnerable across mountains and hills. My sheep scattered all over the world, and no one out looking for them! God's message to Ezekiel spells out the role of spiritual leaders; feed the sheep, build up the weak, heal the sick, doctor the injured, go after the strays, look for the lost. When spiritual leaders who are also disciples fail to feed the sheep, build up the weak ones, heal the sick, doctor the injured, go after the strays and look for the lost, those who are a part of the flock scatter, and they fall prey to the wolves. The wolves are leaders whose agenda is their own and who use the “sheep” to elevate themselves rather than become a co laborer with them for the purpose of being an expression of God’s love in the world for the glory of God. I am hearing horror stories from people who are scattered, they are struggling to find churches where they feel safe and cared for when they are hungry, weak, sick, injured, have gone astray, and are lost. Many have experienced spiritual abuse and although they will not leave God, they contemplate every Sunday morning whether they will even return to “a” four wall church. For them, the safest church is a church they can attend thru the various online platforms. In doing so, they can fall prey to itching ears trying to find messages that speak only to what they want to hear rather than what they need to hear. Being away from a faith community dulls spiritual discernment and opens the door for the wolf to come in and devour those who are scattered. As spiritual leaders we must take a pause daily and ask God to reveal to us to whom we are being invited to shepherd the disciples and the unchurched. We can ask ourselves these questions: 1. Who needs to be fed? 2. Who needs to be built up? 3. Who needs to be healed from their sickness? 4. Who is injured? 5. Who has strayed? 6. Who is lost? Then change the who to how? In doing so it will help you to be more sensitive to the Spirit's guidance. How do we get the answers to these questions? We must have conversations. We must practice the art of listening (this happens when we listen to understand first, not to share what we know), and we must be willing to be transparent with our own stories. Through those conversations the Spirit will reveal to us what the person needs. Then exchange contact info. Make yourself available for phone calls, texts, coffee, lunch. This is shepherding. THEN check in with those people and see how they are doing. This is the call of spiritual leadership. Have you ever experienced a time when someone sent you a text and just said, "Checking in with you, how are things going?" How did it make you feel? It's one of the most loving and compassionate things we can do. We may not be the ones to meet the needs, however as leaders we should know where we can take someone to get their needs met, or who we can take them to for their needs to be met. But we should always be a connection for that person. When we as spiritual leaders are caring for the hungry, the weak, the sick, the injured, those who have strayed and the lost we are being disciples. We are caring for disciples and we are caring for those who have not yet received this incredible gift of grace. This is also discipleship. When we are doing this well, those who are a part of the faith communities where we lead don’t scatter, and those who need a safe place to grow will return, grow, and become disciples who care for others. Let’s look for the scattered, some are inside and outside of the four walled church. We can do it..together!

I considered writing a blog about this topic; however, I found an article that speaks to the biblical model of "managing" people. So, I am offering this resource today to give you insight into this topic. Click on the buttons below and read a great article on the subject of managing others. It's a great resource! Don't forget to check out our Resource page.

I considered writing a blog about this topic; however, I found an article that speaks to the biblical model of spiritual leadership. So, I am offering this resource today to give you insight into this topic. Click on the buttons below and read two great articles on this topic. It's a great resource! Don't forget to check out our Resource page.

Read Exodus 14:13-14 Watch this message by Priscilla Shirer: Fear Not. Spend time journaling and reflecting on the following questions: In what area of your life is God teaching you something about Himself? What is He showing you about Himself? In what area of your life is God teaching you something about yourself? What is He showing you about yourself? In what area of your life are you experiencing fear? In what area of your life is God calling you to stand firm and see the deliverance of the Lord? In what area of your life do you want God to fight for you? Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm, and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exoducs 14:13-14

In my previous blog, I did not include prayer because safeguarding a church from a toxic culture and the abuse of power through prayer needs a blog of its own. Prayer is the power undergirding the transformation of a church culture from a toxic culture to a safe culture. Jesus told us , "...apart from me, you can do nothing." (John 15:5). When we pray, we must listen to how God responds to our prayers. God's intervention may be unconventional, so it's important not to put God in a box as it relates to how He wants to transform our churches. You may be praying that God "send someone," and God may be sending you. We all must be ready to respond to God's invitation like Isaiah, "Lord, here am I send me." (Isaiah 6:8). God may be inviting you to be courageous like David and fight the Goliath of toxicity and abuse of power in your church, or you could be called to be an Esther; you may be called to go and speak to the King: those who are in power with the same resolve of Esther, "If I perish, I perish." (Esther 4:16). Pray. But listen for the response because God might invite you to put some feet on your prayers and take action. Don't underestimate the power of fasting. Esther called a three-day fast (Esther 4:16), and Jesus even said when the disciples could not drive out a demon that some demons can only leave by prayer and fasting (Matthew 17:21). (Resource on Fasting) Gather your prayer warriors and intercessors and seek God about fasting and praying on behalf of your church. Seek God for: How many days is He calling you to fast, The type of fast that you should be on, Listen for the specific things that God would have you pray about. One of the church's most prevalent demonic spirits is the Jezebel spirit. The spirit of Jezebel's goal is to kill the prophets and hinder the message and the ministry that proclaims what the Truth is. If you discover that your church is being ruled by the Jezebel spirit, don't overlook that Jezebel did not function without Ahab, so if Jezebel is reigning, then so does the spirit of Ahab. Ahab is described as a King who did "more evil in the eyes of the Lord" than all who were before him" (1 King 16:30). In Cindy Trimm's book, The Rules of Engagement, she describes the spirit of Jezebel as "pious, puffed up with pride, and blatantly disregards delegated authority. It works contrary to the laws of spiritual protocol, refuses to submit, and instead rallies for the authority and influence that rightfully belongs to God's appointed leadership. It operates thru both males and females and appeals to the iniquity of the heart, often utilizing those overtaken by the spirit of Ahab to fulfill its wishes". She describes the spirit of Ahab as a person who "complies with wishes, commands, and directives given by those influenced or possessed by the spirit of Jezebel even when it goes against their own personal will and conviction. This spirit undermines a person's rights and authority and totally opens them to be disrespected and have their boundaries violated, be they territorial, personal, or psychological. This spirit is a doorkeeper, and its discretion opens doors to other principalities and strongholds." If you believe that the spirit of Ahab and Jezebel rules your church, I highly recommend you purchase the book by Cindy Trimm, The Rules of Engagement. When you pray, remember that you are not wrestling with flesh and blood (Ephesians 6:12). And the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in pulling down strongholds (2 Cor. 10:4). The people and the persons who have the power to bring about the change are not your enemies. Nor are the leaders who are abusing their power. Those people have been deceived. They may be controlled by the spirit of Ahab, Jezebel, and or other demonic principalities that have overtaken them. How did this happen, you asked? At some point in their lives, they gave them permission to control their lives, perhaps through selfish, ambition, deception, indifference, pride, etc. You will need to stand in the gap for them. Don't just pray "against" the spirit of Ahab and Jezebel; you must also call forth the Spirit of Holiness to control their lives like the spirit of Truth and love and all of the other fruit of the spirit. Pray that they will renounce the authority that they have given to the spirit of Jezebel or Ahab in their lives. They will not be free from the spirit of Jezebel or Ahab without renouncing the authority they have given to that spirit. They need to revoke the permission of the spirit of Jezebel and Ahab in their lives. The scriptures say in Matthew 12:45 that "when a house is swept clean, seven more will come and overtake it," so don't just ask for those spirit's to be removed, but also ask God to fill those persons with the Spirit of God who can "stand up in them" and deliver them. (Side note) If you think you have the spirit of Jezebel or Ahab, click on the following prayer(s) and pray it out loud. Here is a prayer to overcome the spirit of Jezebel. Here is a prayer to overcome the spirit of Ahab Lastly, when you pray, ask God to search your own heart (Psalm 139:23). I also recommend that you pray Psalm 51 so that no root of bitterness (Hebrews 12:15) forms in your heart because if we have cherished sin in our heart, God will not listen (Ps. 66:18). Before you pray about anything concerning your church: Start by spending time confessing your sins. Name your sins specifically. Ask God to bring your sins to your mind and heart for you to confess. Confess them by saying, "Lord, I confess (agreeing with God that it is a sin and offensive to Him) that (name the sin) is sinful, and I repent. Ask for Forgiveness. Then receive the forgiveness that comes with confessing your sins (1 John 1:9). This should be your practice when praying about anything. Many prayers go unanswered because we are not coming to God with clean hands and a pure heart (Ps. 24:4, Isaiah 10:12, Isaiah 33:15-16, Micah 6:8). If you meet as a group, begin your prayer time with a confession. Give people time to confess sins out loud and or silently before spending time praying about the situation in your church. Then pray for your church etc.; some things to pray for are: that Truth will prevail, that every congregant and leader will walk in humility and that God will open up the blinded eyes, etc., I will conclude this blog with a prayer: O God, come to our assistance. O God, hurry to save us. O God, hasten to help us. Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit; as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be forever. Amen.* *Harper, Steve. A Pocket Guide to Prayer, Deluxe Edition (p. 20). Upper Room. Kindle Edition.

Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise him with the harp and lyre, praise him with timbrel and dancing, praise him with the strings and pipe, praise him with the clash of cymbals, praise him with resounding cymbals. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Psalm 150:1-6 Take some time this Saturday to worship. Turn off the TV, create a playlist of your favorite worship music, and listen to your favorite worship songs all day. Sing along, sing loud! Offer God your praise! He is worthy! Listen to the song's message and let it encourage and inspire you! Just Worship! Share this blog with anyone who needs to bust some stress! Don't forget to check out the RESOURCE page. Photo by Martin Sanchez on Unsplash

Take a pause to breathe - set a timer for 10 min. Simply breathe Inhale, and exhaleNotice any tension or pain in your body.. ask the Lord to relax you or to heal that area. Notice your thoughts... Release all that will distract you by simply saying silently or out loud "Lord, I releaseto you. "When the ten minutes is up, sit silently until you are fully present in this moment. Then........Read the scripture below 3x out loud or silently. Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in Spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:1-4 (NIV) “Speak up for the people who have no voice, for the rights of all the misfits. Speak out for justice! Stand up for the poor and destitute! Proverbs 31:8-9 (The Message) Spend some time journaling and reflecting on the following questions: Read Philippians 2:1-4 3x out loud or silently. What word or phrase speaks to you? In what ways does your church community need to be one in Spirit and one in mind? How can you help to facilitate and cultivate this oneness? In what areas of your church community is selfish ambition and/or vain conceit being practiced? Where has pride crept into your church community? Who do you need to value above yourself in your church community? Who is being devalued in your church community? In what ways are you looking to your own interest rather than the interest of others in your church community? Read Proverbs 31:8-9 3x out loud or silently. What word or phrase speaks to you? For whom is God calling you to speak up in your church community? Are there unfair practices in your church community? Are there people who are being mistreated, abused, etc.? How is God calling you to speak out against injustice? How can you stand up for those who have no voice in your church community? Do not forget to check out the Resource page.

A Safe church is a "Spirit-formed, Christlike culture, ....nurtures truth, offers healing for the wounded, seeks opportunities to show redemptive grace and love, focuses on serving others (rather than being served), and looks for ways to establish justice in the daily paths of life. A Christlike church culture always has it's eyes on people because the mission of the church is all about God's redemptive love of people." Quote from the Book, A Church Called TOV, p.22 Power and fear-based church cultures are on the rise. We must take this seriously and put measures in place to safeguard our churches against this form of toxicity in the church. At least ten factors can begin to facilitate and cultivate a safe, non-toxic church culture. Click on the button below to get your Safe Church Checklist. This list can help you discern whether to stay in a church where you are a member, attend a church, or leave a particular church, and if you lead a church, it can help you to improve the church experience of your visitors and members. You can also use it to get information about a church you consider attending and/or joining. This checklist is preventative, therefore if your church already has a toxic culture and is experiencing abuse of power from leadership, using this checklist will not begin to facilitate or cultivate a change in your culture if there are currently no consequences for abuse of power and the leadership is unwilling to hold the leader(s) accountable. I am not taking clients until August; however, if you have questions about your Safe Church Checklist results, you can contact me via the chat on this website. Send your safe church checklist results to joycelyn@joycelynlewis.com Subject Line: Safe Church Checklist Results if you would like for me to add your church to the Safe Church List. I will be creating a safe church website where people can go and find out what churches are churches they can attend in their area. Click the file below to receive your Safe Church Checklist. Don't forget to check out our RESOURCES page.

"Everyone is in a process of spiritual formation. We are being shaped into either the wholeness of the image of Christ or a horribly destructive caricature of that image--destructive not only to ourselves but also to others, for we inflict our brokenness upon them . . . The direction of our spiritual growth infuses all we do with intimations of either Life or Death." Dr. Robert Mulholland Take a pause - set a timer for 10 min. simply breathe Inhale and exhale Notice any tension or pain in your body.. ask the Lord to relax you or to heal that area. Notice your thoughts.... Release all that will distract you by simply saying silently or out loud, "Lord, I releaseto you." When the ten min. is up, sit silently until you are fully present at this moment. Then.. Read the following scripture three times. What word or phrase speaks to you? Spend some time journaling about what God is revealing to you. Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17 Spend some time reflecting on the following questions based on the quote above by Dr. Robert Mulholland: In what area(s) of your life are you being shaped into the wholeness of the image of God? In what area(s) of your life are you inflicting your brokenness onto others? Spend some time journaling and write a response to how God is inviting you to be a seamless manifestation of the fruit of the Spirit. Share this pause with others, and check out the resources page and my blog. Ignite the Church! Be ignited!

Read Judges 6 & 7 Watch this video by Priscilla Shirer, How to Win the Battle. Spend time journaling and reflecting on the following questions: In what area of your life are you in a battle(s)? In what area of your life does it seem that you can't win the battle(s)? What is God speaking to you through Gideon's story regarding your battle(s) When God gives us impossible tasks, He never leaves us empty-handed. We are equipped with every spiritual blessing to carry out all God has called us to do. But what amazes me most about God and His provision is that He is faithful to give us the confidence we need to do the impossible. He proves Himself in the little things so that we will trust Him in the big things. Alyssa Howard