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Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me, and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30 (MSG) Take some time today to soak your feet in warm or hot water. Pour in some Epsom salt and essential oils that can soothe your tired feet! Help your feet to bust some stress today! .......Just as it is written and forever remains written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news of good things!” Romans 10:15b (AMP) Share this blog with anyone who needs to bust some stress! Don't forget to check out our RESOURCES.

One of the things that get me excited the most is getting a brand NEW Bible! I know that we live in the age of technology, and many people enjoy their electronic Bibles, but I LOVE the feel of the pages of God's Word and the sound of the pages turning. What I love about getting a brand new Bible is that it does not have all of the highlights and the notes in the margins that indicate that I have read a particular passage before; it allows me to read a passage as though I am reading it for the first time. So, I am currently waiting for my brand new Bible to arrive in the mail, and if you have never heard of this one, it's a must-have! It's the Thompson Chain Study Bible. You can look it up and see what it has, but it is my absolute favorite study Bible because it has over 100 000 references related to various topics in the Bible. Whenever I am perusing thru the pages of scripture, it takes me back to when I first discovered that the Bible has ALL the answers. I was just eleven years old, and I was being bullied at school. Every day someone was threatening to beat me up after school. One day while I was feeling discouraged by the bullying, I decided to pick up the oversized coffee table Bible my brother had sent my mom; he was away in the army. When I opened it up, I noticed a section with various topics, like sadness, loneliness, enemies, and joy; I remember sitting for hours thumbing through the pages of that Bible, thinking of various situations and topics that my eleven-year-old mind could come up with, and nothing I thought of was not in the pages of that Bible. That's when I fell in love with the Word! But at the time, I didn't even know or fully understand the Word's power. I didn't fully comprehend that the scriptures were love letters from God's heart to mine. I didn't know that God's voice was spoken from his mouth to my ears. I didn't know that the scriptures were alive and active, sharper than any two-edged sword penetrating to dividing soul, spirit, joint, and marrow (Hebrews 4:12). I was too young to fully comprehend that All scriptures are God-breathed profitable for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness. (2 Timothy 3:16). I didn't know that the Word was a person, not a book's pages. But, I learned at the age of eleven about the Word of God that when I did what it said, there was a strength and a fearlessness that formed in me. So, as I was dealing with the bullies in my school, I was doing what the scripture said: praying for them and asking God to bless them (Matthew 5:43-45). Even though the bullying didn't stop, whenever there was something that gave me strength in knowing that my bullies were treating me poorly, I was asking God to bless them with good things; and so; that was the beginning of me discovering that whenever I had a problem, I could go to the Bible and find out how I should deal with it. As an eleven-year-old, the Bible became the authority for how I dealt with the situations in my life. As I conclude this blog, I want to ask you, when did you enter into your relationship with the Word of God? In what form do you enjoy reading scripture? Electronic, or do you enjoy turning the pages in your Bible? What is one of your favorite books of the Bible? One of my favorites is Colossians, and I am currently reading Job. What does your Bible look like? There is a quote whose author is unknown that says, "A person who carries a Bible that is falling apart isn't falling apart." I love that, don't you? I've put my overused Bibles on my shelf and use them as reference Bibles. Did I tell you I am excited about getting my new Bible? Yep, I know I did, and I believe that what lies within its pages is a fresh Word, just for me. Take some time today to reorient yourself with the pages of scripture as though you are experiencing it for the first time and receive your fresh Word. Please share this blog with others, and don't forget to check out our RESOURCES.

Simon Sinek has written multiple books on leadership. Although his books target the corporate structure, what he shares about leadership can be helpful to the body of Christ. Simon Sinek’s book, Leaders Eat Last, shares a story that was told to him by a Marine Colonel who was in charge of the Officer Candidate School (OCS). The Colonel considered throwing an officer out of OCS because he had “fallen asleep on watch.” Simon was perplexed that falling asleep “in the woods of Virginia” could end the officer’s career. The Colonel explained that trust and Integrity are a matter of life and death in the Marine Corps, and the problem wasn’t that the candidate fell asleep; the problem was that when he was asked about it, he didn’t take responsibility for his actions; he denied it. They asked about it a second time, and he denied it. After showing the candidate proof that could not be refuted, the candidate took responsibility for his actions. He also said that not taking responsibility for his actions immediately diminished trust. If the “would be” candidate were to get a platoon of Marines, they would not be able to trust the information he gave them; it may cause them to hesitate, question his decision-making and hinder his team from coming together. …..in every organization, even in ones where the decisions are not a matter of life and death. When we suspect the leaders of a company are saying things to make themselves or the company look better than they are or to avoid humiliation or accountability, our trust in them falters. It is a natural response. Our brain interprets the information we receive with our survival in mind. If we suspect our leaders are bending the truth to favor their own interests, then our subconscious mind prefers we don’t climb into a foxhole with him. (Sinek p.187)* Integrity is telling the truth and taking immediate responsibility for our actions and even inactions. The Colonel also told the story of another Marine who fell asleep, and when questioned, he was honest and took responsibility immediately. Simon says that the components of trust are honesty, Integrity, and accountability. These are all character traits necessary for trustworthy leaders; to be a true leader and to engender deep trust, a person must start by telling the truth. Although Simon has not claimed himself to be a Christian leader, his name is biblical and in Hebrew means “to hear or to be heard.” This is one of those times when I believe we need to hear and do what Simon says, because he offers us principles that align with the Word of God. There are numerous scriptures that give us wisdom in being a person of Integrity and truthfulness below are a few: ·The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them. Proverbs 11:3 ·Truthfulness endures forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment. Proverbs 12:19 Righteous lips are the delight of the king, and he loves him who speaks what is right. Proverbs 16:13 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. Ephesians 6:14-15. Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart. 1 Peter 1:22 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in truth. 3 John 1:4 As Christian leaders being a person of Integrity and truthfulness is imperative. It’s foundational to our Christian character. We can’t be healthy leaders if we dibble and dabble in deception. Deception destroys trust, relationships, people, organizations, and churches. We must also be mindful that believers are indwelt with the power of the Holy Spirit, who gives us discernment, the ability to know right from wrong and the ability to tell the Truth. The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of Truth, and his role is to guide us into all truth. When we tell the truth, people can discern that it is the truth, and this builds trust. This is why it is essential to practice the spiritual disciplines of prayer, reading scripture, silence, solitude, and being in a community with other believers because they help us to become more sensitive to the leading, the warnings, and the promptings of the Holy Spirit; they help us to become more discerning in what’s true and what is deception. Jesus tells us in Matthew 24:4 to “Watch out that no one deceives you.” I believe this doesn’t just include other people; as Christian leaders, we must be careful not to deceive ourselves. This is also why as leaders, we need Nathans (2 Samuel 7:2, 1 Chronicles 17:1. in our lives who are wise advisors (Prov. 11:14) and mental health professionals to help us see our blind spots. Simon says that the Colonel shared with him that Integrity and truthfulness are a matter of life and death as a Marine because when a leader gives information, we need to know that when they say something, good or bad, it is the truth. If another Marine can’t trust what is said, then they can’t trust them with their lives when they are out in the field. As Christian leaders, we, too, are in a battle. We are on a battlefield fighting for the souls of the unsaved and for the spiritual maturity of the saved. When we make Integrity and truthfulness the bedrock of our character, we are used by the power of the Holy Spirit to save lives. Leadership requires that we are purveyors of information. We are proclaiming the Good News that leads to life! There is no greater salvation than eternal life. If we practice deception, we could cause our faith to become unattractive, and then we become the justification for why someone says, “I do not believe in Christ because that faith doesn’t work.” Or we could cause people to leave the institutional church, which disconnects them from a community that helps them to grow into spiritually mature believers or worse, they could walk away from God. As leaders, we must take being leaders of Integrity and truthfulness seriously because it is a matter of life and death for ourselves and for those we lead. Choose life! Choose Integrity; choose honesty! Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good repute In the sight of God and man. Proverbs 3:3 Don't forget to share this blog with others and our Resources - Video and Books Page

And don't allow yourselves to be weary in planting good seeds, for the season of reaping the wonderful harvest you've planted is coming! Take advantage of every opportunity to be a blessing to others, especially to our brothers and sisters in the family of faith! Galatians 6:9-10 (TPT) One of the most obvious results of living in gratitude is the feeling of belonging, of being welcome, of hearing the Lord say, "Come to me" (Mt 11:28). When we feel weary, it's fine to stop working, as Mary did, and sit at the feet of Jesus. In chiding Martha, Jesus seems to be telling us that work without worship never bears lasting fruit. What if we are so busy, ostensibly doing the Father's business, that we miss what the Master himself wants to tell us? We do not have to make an appointment to see him. He is with us all the time, befriending us when we feel lonely and showing us how to be faithful when we are tempted to go astray. It is foolish to think that we must first attempt on our own to solve every problem and only then ask for his help. In so doing, we put the cart of self-perfection before the horse of Christ's unfolding plan of salvation. In the Lord's presence, there is no need for us to hide our vulnerability under the cover of phony airs of self-sufficiency. The Father wants to be our partner, provided we agree not to be the purveyor of an already set agenda. Muto, Susan. Gratefulness (p. 31). Ave Maria Press. Kindle Edition. Take a pause and set a timer for ten min. to breathe Inhale and exhale Notice any tension or pain in your body. Ask the Lord to relax you or to heal that area. Notice your thoughts.... Release all that will distract you by simply saying silently or out loud "Lord, I releaseto you." When the ten min. is up, sit silently until you are fully present at this moment. You can also conclude this time by praying the Model Prayer found in Matthew 6:9-13 Then........ Read the scripture and the quote by Dr. Susan Muto, and spend some time journaling and reflecting on the following questions: 1. In what area of your life have you become weary in planting good seeds? 2. In what ways are you a blessing to others as you await the seeds that you have planted to bring in a harvest? 3. How can you bless those who are a part of the family of faith? 4. Read the quote by Dr. Muto; what word or phrase resonates with you in this season of your life? 5. Conclude by writing a prayer of response to the Lord. Don't forget to share this blog with someone and check out our RESOURCES.

I just realized yesterday that it had been 30 days since I turned in my resignation. I have been asked what is next for me. My next step is to return to my previous Leadership Coaching and Church Growth Consulting assignment. Previously I was focused primarily on helping church leaders to create disciple-making processes. I am a system and a process thinker. However, God reminded me why I decided to get a Masters's Degree in Christian Leadership; I wanted to teach leaders how to be healthy leaders. A friend recently asked me if I had considered getting my Ph.D. because of my love for writing. My response was an immediate "No." Because of all the research required. But then, as I pondered the question, I thought, "Well, of course, I would if a school gave me a FULL scholarship where I had to pay zero dollars; haha. I love to learn and share what I know with others so that I can empower them to be who God created them to be. If it were ever possible for me to get my Ph.D. without paying tuition, books, fees, etc., then yes! Sign me up! The Next Step for me is simple. Leadership Coaching and Church Growth Consulting with emphasis on guiding congregations in preventing toxic leadership in the church and helping congregations to overcome a toxic church environment. My goal is to offer retreats and workshops, speak at events, teach what I have learned, and continue to learn about creating a church culture where people are safe from the abuse of power by the leaders and toxic church environments. I am praying and listening to God's guidance with each step. And when He opens doors, I will walk thru them. My current goal is to write 90 blog posts in 90 days, and so far, I am on schedule. I do this because writing and helping others is one of my forms of therapy. Thanks for taking the time to read my blog. If you are interested in Leadership Coaching and/or Church Growth Consulting: My current Leadership Coaching rate is based on six one-hour sessions, $750 My Church Growth Consulting fee is based on a six-month retainer and determined based on the congregation's needs. The retainer can be renewed every six months. Subscribe today so you will get more information about my services and so that you will be one of the first to know when my schedule opens up to receive new clients. If you are interested in Leadership Coaching, Church Growth Consulting or you would like for me to come and speak or offer a workshop at your church, you can email me at: ignitethechurch@outlook.com Don't forget to check out the RESOURCES page.

I was having a conversation with a Pastor recently, and I was sharing with him about my recent resignation, and he said, "You know, I'm all churched out." Those words resonated with me because I had been speaking those words in my head twenty-four hours before our conversation, so I've been pondering what these words mean for my soul. I decided to go to Tamela Mann's song, Take Me To the King, because that song has resonated with many believers worldwide. In the song, she says she is "all churched out, hurt, and abused." This is how many of us have felt and feel after experiencing toxic church environments. We've gone to church, attended all of the weekly activities, served in various capacities, and tried to encourage and lift those we come in contact with; we've been committed to our church. We show up with a purpose, "to love God with all of our hearts, with all of our minds, with all of our strength and to love our neighbors as ourselves" (Luke 10:27, Matthew 22:36-40, Mark 12:28-31). We don't do it perfectly but we try to serve and show up sincerely. Others seem to show up for a different purpose; to control, disempower and devalue our gifts and even sometimes our very personhood. Getting involved in the church seems more like being a part of a game that is being played instead of being about a gospel that needs to be proclaimed and reflected in our actions and our attitudes. So we become "all churched out," ready to tap out of the game called church. We long for some church communities to be about the gospel, evangelizing to unbelievers, offering hope and healing for our pain, and encouraging and inspiring us to be an expression of God's image in the world thru our gifts, calling, and talents. It seems there are hidden agendas, resulting in hurt and abuse instead of edification and encouragement. We become "all churched out." Our heart's are "torn in pieces, we feel far from God, and it seems our prayers are going unanswered. We don't want to show up and be fake or appear to be "going along to get along," so we become desperate for a Word from the King Himself. This is where the chorus fulfills Romans 8:28; All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. Being "all churched out" results in us running to the King instead of into the doors of a church. The church (the four-walled church) is a community that is filled with broken people, the spiritually mature and the spiritually immature, and those in positions who show up with their woundedness; the sharp edges of their brokenness sometimes cut us and make us bleed, but even when that happens, we can return to the King to ask Him to heal our wounds, to bind up our broken hearts, to set us free from harmful religiosity, the abuse of power and legalism. We must also ask that He heal the woundedness in others and those we consider our enemies (Matthew 5:43). We need to take our broken hearts before the throne of the King, gaze upon His glory, and reappraise our situation as an act of complete surrender. It is in the throne room that we receive a Word from our King; "..they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as an eagle, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint!" (Isaiah 40:31), Romans 5:3-5 says that our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. Therefore we can glory in our sufferings because our suffering produces perseverance, character, and hope! Our hope in our King does not disappoint us because Christ died for us at the right time when we were powerless! He saved us! And He can save us from the games being played, the hidden agendas, the hurt, and the abuse of power in the four-walled church! Ephesians 5:27 says Christ loves the church (the people of God) so much that "he will present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any blemish, but holy and blameless." One day, the church (the people of God) will be pain-free because the people will be saved completely from the power of sin! Until that happens, we need to allow God to work in our hearts so that we can bear the fruit that will produce a radiant church. We need to stay in the King's presence where He can heal the hurt and the abuse; then, we will no longer feel "all churched out,"; we will be able to continue to be the church while we are attending a church. Pause and listen to Tamela Mann sing Take Me To The King. Don't forget to check out our Resources Please share this blog and website with others.

Watch this inspirational video by Steven Furtick They will fight you, but they will fail. For I am with you, and I will take care of you. I, the LORD, have spoken!” Jeremiah 1:19

Take some time to pack some food in a basket with your favorite foods, drink, and dessert. Invite someone to go with you to one of your favorite parks or a place where you can take a blanket and partake in some delicious foods outside while you enjoy nature and take in some sun. Share this blog with anyone who needs to bust some stress! Don't forget to check out the RESOURCE page.

I love to create and facilitate retreats, and I love to take retreats. These past few months have been formative; breaking my femur, getting a left hip replacement, and resigning from what I thought was my "dream job." These are the times when I need a retreat. Are you in a season where you need to pause with the Lord? I created a retreat for myself and will share it with you. Click on the link below for a personal retreat plan where you can take a whole day to spend time with the Lord. You can pause alone, or you can gather a group of your friends to get together and enter into a time of quiet and reflection, listening to what God has to say to each of you in this season. Don't forget to check out our RESOURCES. Check out the book titles and the videos.

It takes a lot of courage to leave a toxic church environment. Some may think it's an easy decision, whether it's your job or your church membership because leaving a place where you are devalued and disempowered makes sense. It may be easier to leave a corporate job, but the mental, emotional, and spiritual warfare you experience is overwhelming when it's the church. We wrestle with whether or not our mistreatment is just the "cross" we are called to bear. We don't want to believe that the people who are called to care for our souls are the ones who are throwing the arrows that are wounding our souls. We try to make sense of what doesn't make sense. We wonder if our leaving makes us look like we lack faith. Until we actually leave, we struggle every day with whether or not we ought to persevere or flee. I have even heard stories where people who were the victims of toxic church environments are made to feel like they are the ones who were wrong. They become the accused and are ousted, criticized, and even demonized by those in leadership and people they've known for years, all because they chose to be more loyal to God than a leader. Stephen Arterburn says in his book, Experiencing Healing Over Painful Spiritual Abuse, "In a toxic faith system, loyalty is equated with blind faith and complete agreement with the leader." Challenging a toxic system that is not congruent with the Word of God is often equated with being disloyal to the leader. This wounds us. Some people become more focused on keeping the toxicity a secret than on exposing it so that their church can be a healthy church where people can grow into spiritual maturity. Toxicity breeds immature believers. Those longing for spiritual maturity usually challenge the toxic system and ultimately have to leave, and leaving our home church wounds our very souls. Once we leave, we must deal with our mental, emotional, and spiritual wounds. We even experience the stages of grief because we are grieving the loss of friends, maybe the loss of a job, opportunities to serve God in a particular way, and our perception of certain people. These are wounds that require us to heal. I thought I would share some of the things I am doing to help me to heal. Praying & Reading Scripture- There is no way I could survive this without God's Word and prayer. At the beginning of each year, I always select a scripture that will carry me through the year. I allow that scripture to be my guide for the year. My scripture for the year is Psalm 144. I am grateful that I have a word of encouragement and hope given to me on Jan. 1, 2023. What scripture(s) can be your healing balm as you heal from your experiences in your toxic church environment? Writing- Writing is my therapy. It's how I process the experiences in my life. It's a way for me to allow God to make something beautiful out of the ashes of my life. 2 Corinthians 1:4 says, "God comforts us in our troubles so that we can comfort others in their troubles." I write because I want those with similar experiences to be comforted, inspired, and empowered. I choose to become a resource for others. I also love to journal. Sharing My Story- The principalities and powers (Eph. 6:12) want us to be afraid to share our story. There are many fears like no one will believe us (even after sharing proof) or that they will believe us but not hold those responsible accountable, and that they will launch personal attacks. When all of these fears come against me, I am reminded that the God I serve is a God of justice, that one day, all things will be made right, and that all things are working for my good. (Rom. 8:28). Seeing a Mental Health Professional- Do not underestimate a toxic environment's impact on your mental health. Make an appointment to see a mental health professional. It will do your mind and your soul good. Talk to Trusted Friends- I have friends I can talk to about my experiences and other things; sometimes, I rehash experiences, but they allow me to "get it out." Find another place to Worship- It's okay to decide not to return to that church if it's your place of worship. Worshipping in the place where you have been wounded may not be healthy for you. You will need to discern this. Setting Boundaries- I decided, just this past week, that I will need to refrain from allowing people to bring me certain types of information related to my church. This keeps the person and me safe from being used to bait or hurt me; it keeps me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually safe. Do something you enjoy at least once a day- Be intentional about doing the things you enjoy. Take some time, write down 20 things you enjoy, and prioritize doing something you enjoy each day. This could include nature walks, certain foods, drinks, recreational activities, a good book, etc.; the list could go on and on! My prayer is that this blog will be something that contributes to your time of healing. One thing I know for sure, this too shall pass, and one day, we will be healed. We will reflect on this time in our lives and say, "I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory. Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you! I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer. You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy!" Psalm 63:2-5 Do not forget to check out our Resources; we have books and videos.

Thom Rainer is the former president and CEO of Lifeway Christian Resources and the author of numerous books. He has served in multiple capacities and spoken to hundreds. He led a church and denominational firm from 1990 - 2005, and that firm provided insights to over 500 churches. I discovered his list of 14 Traits in Toxic Leaders. This is an excellent resource for those who are trying to discern if you are working for or being led by a toxic leader. After this blog, you will find a PDF of those 14 Traits and a link to a podcast where he discusses those traits. Below is the list and a few of my notes from listening to the podcast. However, this podcast is a MUST-HEAR FOR YOURSELF! Thom Rainer describes the fourteen traits of a toxic leader: They rarely demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit (See Galatians 5:22-23) They seek a minimalist structure of accountability; they feel they answer to no one and do their best to have minimal accountability; they lead in an autocratic (top-down) fashion. They are micromanagers; they want their hands in every situation. They expect behavior from others they don't expect of themselves. They have "Do as I say, not as I do" as their motto. They see almost everyone else as inferior to themselves. They criticize other leaders while building themselves up. They show favoritism. They give a few people preferential treatment while they marginalize the rest. They give info to some, and others don't get information. They say one thing to some people but different things to others. They will say whatever it takes, including lying, to get what they want. They seek to dismiss or marginalize people before they attempt to develop them. People are a means to an end: they quickly reject people if they don't serve the leader's purpose. They see people as projects to accomplish their own goals. They are manipulative. They masterfully pull people's strings to get them to do what they want. Their most common tactic is to use partial truth. They lack transparency. Everything is kept a secret, so they can't be held accountable. They have frequent anger outbursts. This happens when they don't get their way. They do not allow for pushback or disagreement. Those who dare to disagree become victims of the leader's anger and are quickly pushed aside. They surround themselves with sycophants; people who are people pleasers, those who are a part of their inner circle, which may include close friends and family, and they have a host of "yes" people or weaker leaders who will do whatever they ask. They communicate poorly. Some are good communicators in a public forum or the pulpit but communicate poorly to those who work for them because the clearer they communicate, the more they reveal who they are because it reveals their autocratic leadership style. They are self-absorbed. They would listen to all these traits but not see them themselves. They are so self-absorbed they don't see themselves, so no correction is done. If you find yourself working for a toxic leader or the leader of your church, then confronting them will not do any good. If no one can confront them, leaving is the best course of action if you work for them. If you see yourself as a toxic leader based on these traits, the first step is repentance to God and many people that you have led poorly and offended. Sometimes you need to do that in a public setting. Click Here To Listen to 14 Traits Found in Toxic Leaders Podcast by Pastors Today. Don't forget to check out the Resources page Also, check out The Soul Salon, which will be reopening in September.

I considered writing a blog about this topic; however, I found an article that speaks to the biblical model of "managing" people. So, I am offering this resource today to give you insight into this topic. Click on the buttons below and read a great article on the subject of managing others. It's a great resource! Don't forget to check out our Resource page.